So you say prom was great
Lots of fun
Must've been for him
You I'm not so sure
Looks like you tried to swallow
But ended up ruining your prom dress instead
Don't sign up for the movies yet
You've got it goin on
But if the money shot trips you up
You're like a horse with no legs
No one can ride you till the end
So go the college route
Have some fun
Maybe meet a Christian
So all you have to do
Is in the missionary position
"Candle In The Wind" President George W Bush tribute song.
(yes this is satire).
Goodbye George W Bush
Though I only ever saw you on TV
You had the grace to hold yourself
when you went off on a mumbling spree.
Thank GOD you had Dick Cheney
to whisper in your brain
To set you on a war path
To kill Sadam Hussein
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing which Johnny Walker did it
Or when the cocaine induced dementia set in
And I would have liked to have known you
Have a punch up on the booze
But your candle burned out long before
they ever lit your fuse.
Presidency was tough
The toughest role you ever played
The GOP created a superstar
And the presidency was the price they paid
Even though your not yet dead
All the papers had to say
Obama's landslide victory
and only 78 more days.
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing which Johnny Walker did it
Or when the cocaine induced dementia set in
And I would have liked to have known you
Have a punch up on the booze
But your candle burned out long before
they ever lit your fuse.
Goodbye Georgey boy
From the dead young soldier in Bagdad
Who will never see you as something more than just a president
because now he's got no head.
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing which Johnny Walker did it
Or when the cocaine induced dementia set in
And I would have liked to have known you
Have a punch up on the booze
But your candle burned out long before
they ever lit your fuse.
Goodbye America's King
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
When Iraq was torn apart
You called out to your country
And you whispered to the insane
Now you belong to God
And history spells out your name
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
Or when the bombs reigned in
And your footsteps will always fall here
'Neath rushmore's weathered chins
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever will
Autocracy we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For our nation's golden child
And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you've brought us in your final years
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
Or when the bombs reigned in
And your footsteps will always fall here
'Neath Rushmore's weathered chins
Your candle burned our long before
Your legend ever will
Goodbye holy man
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
When Iraq was blown apart
Goodbye Captain America
From a country going down and set to waver
We'll remember your conservative compassion
And someday hope to return the favour.
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
Or when the bombs reigned in
And you footsteps will always fall here
'Neath Rushmore's weathered chins
Your candle's burned out long before
Your legend ever will.
Like an invisible prison that surrounds you, consumes you
you will never see through all these things that distort your view
The choices you have are only few
but you still are confused about what to do
what would life be like if you could break free?
Doesn't matter, this is how it will always be.
Restricted by what others can not see...
These walls you can not penetrate
It's pointless just give up and except your fate.
From this suffering there is no escape.
Your views are not the same as before,
something snapped inside you, deep within your core.
Is there any point to go on anymore?
It was a way out that you could not find
How is it you expected to escape your mind?
My Mind has been searching for the perfect way out of here
There is always tomorrow
Never give up on your dreams
Reach up high and reach for the sky
Life is full of possibilities
Don’t let go
Please don’t go
Keep everything under control
From now to the end of all your years
Don’t let go
Try to stay calm
We will find a way out of this Nightmare
Don’t let go
Hold on tight
With all your might
Fight to stay alive tonight
This is about being bipolar, the rise & falling of moods, the constant cycle of trying to manage (going round and round). The music on these rides is so strange and cryptic, it's manic melodies to me. Merry-go-rounds are never new. They are always worn out looking and traveled. They make noise as you sit on them, as my mind does when I am dealing with a significantly dramatic episode, it becomes worn. No one knows, hence the line about the face and mind connection. The mirror is the therapist. I am placated. How many a day? My meds. Fear of what I will become is the frozen faces of the horses, their maniacal grins, thoughtless.
Here are drawings that were done by me, by hand with just some stencils and straight edges. I owned this house and was pondering the complete remodeling and addition to it to bring it up in the market for the neighborhood, so I whipped up these drawings in three days after taking care of household chores and kids, to show a real estate agent for the area to get an idea of what market range she thought it could be in, really the first step in securing the financing for the project. This was back during the real estate boom of course, but if it hadn't turned out the way it did for me back then, I could have done this and it would have put the house in the low 400s for the neighborhood.
The other drawing was done on an isometric grid for school. I toured a boiler room for a local school and then was to draw it from memory with all appropriate labeling including the levels of water and what not, Soul would have an aprreciation for it. I hope these are not too low res as to not give enough size and detail that ppl cant really see. There is a lot of detail that you cant see in them as it is, if not,. perhaps I will get enough motivation to find them again and re-photograph at higher res with appropriete adjustments.
Blue7 requested this poem by Sylvia Plath be posted
Tulips
The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in.
I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands.
I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.
I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
And my history to the anesthetist and my body to surgeons.
They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff
Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut.
Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
The nurses pass and pass, they are no trouble,
They pass the way gulls pass inland in their white caps,
Doing things with their hands, one just the same as another,
So it is impossible to tell how many there are.
My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep
Now I have lost myself I am sick of baggage
My patent leather overnight case like a black pillbox,
My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
Their smiles catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks.
I have let things slip, a thirty-year~old cargo boat
Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
They have swabbed me clear of my loving associations.
Scared and bare on the green plastic-pillowed trolley
I watched my teaset, my bureaus of linen, my books
Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
I am a nun now, I have never been so pure.
I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free -
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them
Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.
The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.
Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe
Lightly, through their white swaddlings, like an awful baby.
Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.
They are subtle: they seem to float, though they weigh me down
Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their color,
A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck.
Nobody watched me before, now I am watched.
The tulips turn to me, and the window behind me
Where once a day the light slowly widens and slowly thins,
And I see myself, flat, ridiculous, a cut-paper shadow
Between the eye of the sun and the eyes of the tulips,
And I have no face, I have wanted to efface myself
The vivid tulips eat my oxygen.
Before they came the air was calm enough,
Coming and going, breath by breath, without any fuss.
Then the tulips filled it up like a loud noise.
Now the air snags and eddies round them the way a river
Snags and eddies round a sunken rust-red engine.
They concentrate my attention, that was happy
Playing and resting without committing itself.
The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
And comes from a country far away as health.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dark Room
Alone in the dark I know it is true
In my heart I need you
Alone I wait for you to come to take me away
Alone I wait for you
Time keeps on slipping away
I don’t think I am ok
I am nothing without you
Alone I sit thinking about you
You are the one I want to hold on to
Time is drifting away
Slipping through my fingers
Seeing through the darkest hours of my days
Searching for the right words to say
In my heart I pray I will find you in the end
Until that day
Here alone I will stay
In the dark I will think of you
In the dark I will pray
Please come my way
I will Speak to you another day
As I sit and think of your lovely face to pass my way
I feel my sister toes
hers are paler
hers are smaller
wiggling under the same cold grandmother womb
time for hunt with hers
on the run in ragged boots
time for flirting with mine
on the run in old heels
my sisters toes preserved
my toes weathered from wasted time
her shoes have carried those toes through
growing
talent
peaceful woods
on the hunt
my shoes through an average life
we wiggle our toes in front of the screen
old childrens movies pretending we have no responsibilities
sisters toes
same grandmother slippers
and chocolate covered cherries
salty air and pall malls
and deviled crabs
she would always have that talent
grandmother would foresee that for her
wishing while we pretend
I wore my sisters toes
I looked out of my bed room window
I gazed up at the stars way up high
the moon is full tonight
it is so bright
night time is here
for the world to see
time for adventure
time for fun
Every night I will come Wait for me
I am coming for you tonight
wait and see
wait for me
Midnight will wake me
take me away
take me I am here
When we finally get around to it, to talk, to look each other in the eye,
it seems too late. We let too much time go by. I'm tired of trying to be
who I was, who I was supposed to be, and you are tired of now, of me.
We've worked so hard, you've cried so much while I just sat and stared.
Hating myself for what I couldn't be and you for what you wanted me to
be. This knife is so sharp! It cuts from both sides so easily that it slides
through my soul, alone forever, frightened and ashamed. How cruelly
ironic this time is of fighting demons and freeing the mind only to watch
what you've worked for, dreamed of, slowly unravel, unwind.
Chefdujour
New artwork by HC
Mental Love
missing the maniac and the mixed
dreaming of the last kiss
the chaos and madness
of creative bliss
bipolar dysfunction
raising its fists
yet this limbo between
well it seems
this is the real world
and a bore
give me my maddening whore
to rape my mind
to make me go sublime
give me my own natural drug
cause this beer is a dud
give me a girl
with the same chemical disposition
one that does better than just listen
give me a mad girl
with a head that swirls
give me a roller-coaster ride that whirls
twistedbiker
Suicide Note #1
I'm writing to tell you,
of course,
but that never mattered.
I'm saying that I'm leaving the party
but I don't think I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm saying that everything here is fine
but I need to find what's mine.
I'm writing because I listen
and my voice echoes in the distance.
Lightning crashes
running for you
I call
I cry out your name
Lightning strikes down onto this world
Times changing
It changes us all
Thinking
of things to say to you
lighting crashes
time is coming to an end
soon it will be over
I will be searching for you till the end
You and I
together forever
you and I till the end
over and over
I will be searching
over and over calling out your name
crying out your name
rain falls on my head as I call out your name
rain falls on me as I search for you
My love
goes out to you now
rain falls on me washing away my pain
as I cry out your name
I fall in love with you
I cry out your name as I drift further and further away
into the mist
the mist that sweeps me back in to darkness surrounding me
The following four poems were submitted by member Littlebit
SILENCE OF WAR
What is this sound
that I hear
the sound of silence
rings in my ear
I look around
And I see
A thousand reasons
Why we are free
Soldiers with voices
That sing no more
Can you hear the silence
Of the war
They go to work
Their job to save strangers
They vowed to protect
They know all the dangers
While we sit at home
To relax for the night
They are at work
Ready for the next fight
They are not soldiers
But fight just the same
They risk their lives
Without reason or shame
They live in a house
One that’s not their own
All are afraid but none
Will let it be known
They are always ready
Waiting for the next alarm
They wait to step
Into the face of harm
They are called upon
In times of danger
Many lost their lives
While saving a stranger
They are not far
Just a phone call away
It could be your life
That they save one day
So give thanks to the ones
Who put out the fire
Their courage, their bravery
Are ones to admire
Firefighters everywhere
Put their lives on the line
When a life is in danger
Their sirens will whine
Smoke and flames
Put their strength to the test
They arrive on the scene
To give others their best
In a friendship
We are free to expose
Parts of ourselves
That nobody knows
Friends are rare
Most have two or three
I am glad it happened
Between you and me
Author unknown
COLORS
Outside on a pole
I am here everyday
Stand below me
To hear what I say
White is for purity
Innocence and truth
I have been flown
Many Times since my youth
Red is for blood
Valor and bravery
So many soldiers
Lost their lives for me
Blue is tranquility
Justice and peace
I fly with the wind
Hoping all war will cease
My stripes are the light
And all lessons learned
If I’m dropped on the ground
Then I must be burned
My stars are the goals
That we all hope to reach
I stand for freedom
And the right to free speech
If you want to know
The American story
Turn to me on this pole
I’m your flag
The one called “old glory”
Waking up
in the middle of the night
My mind is racing
I race in cycles in search of you
Waiting for a light to show me through
Madness deep inside of me
Racing to find my way out
Of the darkness haunting me
Waking up the beast inside of me
letting go of everything
Throwing away the past
Taking away the anger
Waking up in the middle of the night
Calling out your name
My mind is racing in search of you
Crawling through the darkness
Trying to find my way through
As I call out to you
You are the light to guide me Through
This darkness deep inside of me Through and through
I am calling out for you
So that I can be free
From the darkness inside of me
In my heart I hold sorrow,
here today and gone tomorrow,
One day happy one day mad,
in the end I feel had,
Turbulent times in my head,
torrid dreams in my bed,
Softly sobbing in my hands
rage encroaching summons demands
Into it all I submit
falling back into this shit,
Inside dying, crying, wanting
too much fight it all seems daunting, Wishing I could go back now
if I knew the way or how Living life on razors edge
I make myself an honest pledge,
Ill be alive on this day
its living life for today.
Mo (Chey's Mom)
These kitty images were submitted by Chey's Mom (Maureen "Mo")
Out of the Darkness
Coming out of the darkness
Reaching out for you
Waiting for you to pick me up
before I fall again
Time and time I fall into memories of the past
Got to keep moving on
Got to keep moving to find myself again
Coming out of the darkness
Trying to forget the past
moving on to the future
To be well at last
the rain has passed
i move about invisible and silent
my steps silenced
by the saturation below
the woods shadowed
so many beautiful golds and browns
spreading evenly across the ground
water drips from all the branches
a gentle sound drumming
part of the music of the wilderness
like wind chimes
singing low
babies got the blues
theres a drop on my nose
i leave it there
cause i don't care
and i kinda like it
streams of moonlight filter through
to the forest floor
snow covered path beneath my feet
crisp cold night, silence blankets
the world around me
crunch crunch slide
i drag my ride
in an unknown slumber
i head for phibbs hill
where all children go
to ride the snow
crunch crunch slide
i drag my ride
the only sound for miles
moonlight in my eyes
guides me through the night
dressed in layers
two by two
i'm on my way
though no one knew
they slumbered too
crunch crunch slide
i drag my ride
the coolest sled i'd ever seen
a gift from santa just for me
i'm on my way, getting closer
with every step
gonna ride like the wind
under a bright winter moon
crunch crunch slide
i drag my ride
ANOTHER WARNING !!! Do NOT attempt to read the following story if you are a prude with no sense of humour.
The Trademark . . . [by eeyore]
Red stared sulkily out the window, looking longingly at her red sports car corvette. It was calling out to her, begging her to come and play.
“Katherine, I’m talking to you.” her mother said. Red rolled her eyes, “Mother, how many times have I told you to call me Red? If any of my friends heard you calling me Katherine I’d be the laughing stock of the century! I’m called Red because of my car, that’s my trademark.”
Red’s mother pursed her lips. “In my house you shall be addressed as Katherine, end of story. We come from a long line of Katherine’s and that is the way it will stay. You should be proud of your name and our heritage. Now, did you listen to what I said about your grandmother?”
Red did another eye roll. “Yes, Mother. Go to the pharmacy, pick up Granny’s basket and take it to her. How difficult can that be? I’m not five years old you know.”
Her mother sighed. “Look, just be careful, ok? There are some twisted characters out there.”
“Yeah, whatever,” said Red, “I’ll be going now. Maybe I’ll hang out with some friends later, so expect me when you see me.”
Red walked out of the impressive building. She turned around and studied it for the umpteenth time. It had recently been renovated and upgraded and the building’s façade was now an ode to glass and marble, yet at the same time emanating a feeling of warmth and welcome. Well, considering the business that was conducted inside it needed to have a welcoming presence. The big sign was marble, with the words Madame Katherine’s in golden cursive letters. Discreetly underneath was written Your Pleasure is our Priority. Even in her obligatory sulky teenager state Red could still appreciate the beauty of the building and feel the presence of her ancestors looking down on her. One day this would all be hers, she would be continuing the family business. It was her heritage, her pride, although she would of course never admit that to her mother.
Red walked to her car, jumped in and screeched away from the curb. First stop the pharmacy, then a quick trip to the mall, followed by the compulsory visit to Granny. No self-respecting teenager could go past the mall without taking a peep inside first, what if one of the boutiques received new stock and she didn’t know about it until tomorrow? Oh the shame! A girl needed to stay on top of her game in this world, Red thought, while speeding along the highway with the wind playing in her crown of strawberry blond hair.
At the pharmacy she popped inside and collected the basket her mother had arranged. Luckily it wasn’t very heavy, she might be tall but she had a tiny frame, and the last thing she wanted was to look like the hunchback of Notre Dame. On the other hand, the basket wasn’t very likely to be heavy, having been filled with anti-depressants, tranquilizers and a few assorted bottles of creams, also known as liquid magic. Granny found a new wrinkle yesterday, so she was a tad depressed. With the smell of burning rubber in her nose she took off to the mall, her icy blue eyes hidden beneath the newest and trendiest Ray-Ban’s. Next stop . . . The Mall, center of the teenage universe.
Breathing a sigh of contentment Red adoringly looked at the mall. Mall, oh glorious Mall, I have heard your call . . . she thought. Ok, so one mall looked pretty much like the next mall these days, but that wasn’t really the point, was it? It was what was inside that counted, and inside this mall there was pure unadulterated bliss, heaven with a price tag. What the hell am I doing outside?? Red thought, jumping out of the car. Come to Mama Baby!!!
Once inside Red spotted a couple of her friends, and they hit the stores, checking out merchandise, maxing out their credit cards and generally having a good time. They stopped at a coffee shop for a breather and each of them had a caramel latte. A girl’s got to have standards after all. Regular coffee was like, so last year.
Still chatting they left the coffee shop, not paying attention to the flow of people passing them, and the next thing Red knew, she had bumped into someone. She turned around and said “Ung”. What she actually meant to say was excuse me, but all traces of intelligent speech and coherent thought left her when she saw the Adonis she had bumped against.
“Excuse me” he said, while holding on to her elbow, “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you ok?” Red meanwhile had recovered some of her speech. “Yes, thank you. I’m fine.” She said. Behind her, her friends were busy fanning themselves, feeling like a sudden heat wave had descended upon them.
The Adonis held out his hand to Red. “Hi, I’m Gabriel.” he said. Red had used those few moments to take a closer look at Gabriel. He was tall, muscled and moved like a predator. He had hair like the sun, eyes like the ocean, and he was tanned all over, accentuated by the black T-shirt, black jeans and black boots he was wearing. The clothes fitted him perfectly, like they were tailor made just for him, enhancing all of his assets.
“Red”, she said, daintily holding out her hand. Gabriel took her hand and brought it to his lips. “Pleased to meet you, Red,” he said, “this must be my lucky day.” Red blushed, and immediately berated herself for doing it. Dammit Red, she thought, get hold of yourself! You’re not some giggling teenager; you are a sophisticated, world wise young woman for crying out loud, now behave like it!
“And why would it be your lucky day?” Red asked coquettishly. Gabriel gave her a smile, a smile that would be the downfall of saints. “Because I met you today.” he said, and whoosh . . . Red blushed all over again.
“Are you by any chance the Red from Madame Katherine’s?” Gabriel asked. “Why yes . . . yes I am.” Red said. “The angels are surely smiling down upon me today, I must have done something right. Tell me Red, would you like to have a drink with me? I’d love to get to know you better.” Gabriel said. Inwardly Red cursed her mother and her grandmother, and all her ancestors, while she was at it. Might as well do a thing thoroughly once you get started. If you’re going to do it, do it right, do it now.
“I’m sorry,” Red said, “I’d really like to, but I promised to go visit my grandmother.”
“Well that’s very sweet of you,” smiled Gabriel, “I hope your grandmother isn’t sick.” “Oh no” Red replied, she’s just having an off day, so I’m taking her a few goodies.”
“Oh ok” Gabriel said. “Does she live far from here? Maybe we can have that drink when you get back?”
And Red blushed as red as beetroot again. Damn those raging hormones!!!
“She doesn’t live too far,” Red replied, “have you ever seen that quaint little cottage on the new golf estate?” “Yes,” said Gabriel, “I drive past there quite often. I’ve been thinking of joining the club, to tell you the truth. Golf is such a sophisticated sport, you get to chat to friends, see lovely scenery, and everyone is required to be polite.” Gabriel gave Red a wink. “So, do you think you would be done early enough for us to go have that drink?”
Red did a mental head slap and grimaced. “I’m sorry, but I still have a few things to finish here, I won’t be able to make it.”
“Are you sure?” Gabriel asked, “I wouldn’t mind waiting.”
“I really can’t,” Red said, “maybe we could hook up some other time?” she added hopefully. Gabriel gave his dazzling smile again. “Wild horses wouldn’t be able to drag me away.” he said. “Well, I better go, I have some errands to run too.” Gabriel bent over Red’s hand, and kissed it. “Take care, beautiful Red, I’ll see you soon.”
And once again Red fell victim to the horrendous blush. “Um, bye Gabriel, nice meeting you. ”she said.
Gabriel turned and walked away, turning around once to blow her a kiss. Red just about fainted. “Gawd, that is one of the finest specimens of the male species I have seen in a long time” one of her friends said. “Just looking at him has me panting. He can leave his shoes under my bed anytime.”
“Tell me about it” Red exclaimed. “I swear, I had to concentrate on not falling over the whole time he was talking to me, my knees feel like jello. . . and when he kissed my hand, OH MY GOD!! . . . A rush hotter than hades just about drenched me from head to toe. I don’t know if I am in love or in lust, and that’s the truth”
“I hear ya girlfriend” her other friend said. “My hormones are so overactive right now I need something seriously cold to cool me down” and she fanned herself again.
Red glanced at her watch. “Ok, she said, “but we can’t be too long. We still have to hit one more store and then I have to get moving, before Granny calls my mother and I have to hear it again.”
The girls wandered off to an ice cream parlour, chilled a bit, got their raging hormones and hot flushes under control, and then snooped around the last store, although most of their previous enthusiasm had left them. They said their goodbyes and Red hopped into her corvette again, stomped down on the gas pedal and took to the open road.
Red turned into the golf estate’s entrance, and almost got hit by a golf ball. “Oops!” a falsetto voice called, “did I hit you honey?” The body belonging to the voice appeared, and only one thing can be said about that, it sure as hell wasn’t a body you would forget in a hurry. The body was dressed in a blue shimmering skin tight mini skirt, white pantyhose and blue 3 inch spiked heels. It was around 6 feet tall, and kinda muscular, a bit too muscular maybe. The head was covered in a mass of black curls and the face looked like an advertisement for Revlon. Mascara, eyeliner, blush, eye shadow, the works.
“Oh, it’s you Priscilla” Red said. “Your aim must be improving, the golf course is only 10 yards away.”
“Red! Darling, how are you?” Priscilla exclaimed. “I haven’t seen you in ages! And you are just as gorgeous as I remember!”
Red chuckled. “Priscilla, you saw me two days ago.”
“Well yes,” said Priscilla, “so I wouldn’t be able to forget your beauty, would I?” Priscilla winked, “besides, complimenting a lady is always a good thing.”
“Priscilla, you are so funny!” giggled Red.
“And where are you off to today, my beauty?” Priscilla asked.
“I’m visiting Granny. She found a new wrinkle yesterday.”
Priscilla crossed herself, “Mary, Mother of God, that that is just horrific!” she exclaimed. “Oh the poor dear, maybe I should pop in for a visit later, see if I can manage to lift her spirits somewhat.”
“I’m sure she would appreciate that Priscilla.” Red said. “And now I better be going, don’t want Granny to wait too long, you know how she hates that.”
“Oooooh, I hear you girlfriend, you better get that cute ass of yours in gear.”
“See you later Priscilla, don’t be a stranger.” Red called out, as she started the engine.
“Toodles love!” Priscilla waved her goodbye.
# # #
Gabriel gave an authoritative knock.
Granny opened the door. “Hmmmm, well hello there, ” she said. “and who might you be?”
Gabriel shoved her inside. “I’m your worst nightmare, Grandma.” he snarled.
“But . . . but, who are you?? What do you want from me?” Granny asked, totally flabbergasted.
Gabriel pushed Granny into a chair. “I want your dildos Grandma, all of them.” he said calmly.
“My dildos? But why? What could you want to do with an old woman’s dildos?” Granny asked confused. “And it’s not even like they are new and unused. Every one of my dildos are in working order, I make sure of that.”
“I know,” Gabriel said, an evil glint in his eyes, “you are the most prolific dildo collector in this country, the whole world maybe. “
“But . . . I still don’t understand!” Granny wailed. “Most dildos aren’t that expensive, what do you want to do with mine?”
“Don’t try to con a conman Grandma. You and I both know your dildos aren’t the ordinary everyday ones you get in the shops. You have the special ones, and I am going to use them.” Gabriel still had that evil glint in his eyes.
Realization dawned. “Oh My God!” Granny whispered. “You’re him, aren’t you? You are the Dildo Serial Murderer!!”
“Bingo.” Gabriel gave a toothy grin. “And your time is up old woman. Too long have you hoarded the world’s best dildos, depriving woman everywhere of their God-given pleasure. It’s payback time.”
“Take them!” Granny sobbed. “Take all of them! Just please don’t hurt me!”
“Hurt you?” Gabriel asked with mocked innocence, while unclipping his briefcase. “I’m not going to hurt you Grandma, I am going to give you the most exquisite, multiple orgasmic experience of your life!” He bent down and extracted something gold from his briefcase. Gabriel straightened up and flashed the object before Granny.
“It can’t be!” Granny exclaimed hoarsely. “I thought it was just an urban myth! It really exists??”
“Oh it exists all right.” Gabriel said. He caressed the object with his hand, almost reverentially. “The MotherFucker 9827, king of dildos.” With an angelic smile he said: “I like to pleasure my ladies before I punish them.”
The smile suddenly disappeared. “Shhhh…” Gabriel whispered. “Someone’s at the door!” He turned a snide eye to Granny. “Don’t even think of screaming for help Grandma. I’ll kill you and whoever comes through that door!” he said quietly.
Granny obeyed. Herself she could take care of, but she didn’t want innocent blood on her hands. Gabriel manhandled Granny into the bathroom; duct taped her hands and feet together, and then wrapped it around her head a few times, covering her mouth. Then he opened a cabinet at random and found a jar of cream. He wasn’t particularly bothered about which type of cream it was, all it needed to do was cover his face. Hastily he smeared it full of cream, grabbed the shower cap, rammed it onto his head and screeched to a halt in front of a stylish brown leather recliner. He grabbed a blanket, sat on the recliner and draped the blanket over himself, so that just his face was visible.
“Hellooooooo . . . “ someone called outside. “Anybody home?”
# # #
Red sighed. Granny was probably busy inside somewhere, doing goodness knows what. She fingered the bricks on the right hand side of the door, finally finding the loosened one. She took the key out, unlocked the door, and let herself in. She was family, after all. Family have the right to barge in unannounced, make themselves at home, eat everything in sight, hog the remote and then complain about all the hardships they had to endure while visiting.
“Granny” she called out. “It’s Red. Where are you?” Just then she saw Granny sleeping on the recliner. Red moved closer and softly shook Grandma. “Granny, wake up.” she whispered.
Gabriel gave a fake snort and pretended to wake up. “Red, darling, so good to see you.” he said with a hoarse whisper, and even managed a faint smile.
“Goodness Granny, what’s wrong with your voice?” Red asked.
“Oh, that . . . “ Gabriel whispered. “Well, I went out with the girls last night to a strip club, and I guess I overdid the screaming somewhat.”
“Ohhhkay” Red said. Although she was very fond of her grandmother and she appreciated the open relationship they had, there was such a thing as too much information where certain family members were concerned. The thought of your grandmother getting all horny and screaming her lungs out in a strip club is not one to inspire sweet dreams. She sniffed, frowned and then looked at Gabriel. Still frowning she went closer, looked at Gabriel’s face, touched the cream, and then snorted, almost choking from laughter. “Granny! Why do you have lubricating cream smeared all over your face?”
“Uhm, I thought I’d try something new.” Gabriel said, in a small voice. Shit shit shit! he thought. Why didn’t I bother to check the damn label on that bottle!
“And what’s with the shower cap?” Red wanted to know, still trying to recover from her laughing fit.
“Shower cap?” Gabriel looked around with mocked confusion, as if the hadn’t the faintest idea what Red was talking about. “Oh, this shower cap . . . “ Gabriel almost faltered. He hadn’t counted on the little madam-to-be to have such an inquisitive mind. Ladies of negotiable affection weren’t exactly known to be Mensa members. “Well, I…, I did my roots.” he finally said.
“Oh cool!” Red exclaimed, “let me take a look.” And before Gabriel could move she ripped the shower cap off his head, revealing a mop of curly sun kissed hair, something quite different from the follicle implants she had been expecting.
Startled Red jumped back. “Who are you? What did you do with my Granny? What are you doing here?” she yelled.
Gabriel leaped out of the recliner and grabbed hold of Red’s arm. “It’s me honey, Gabriel.” he said, face contorted in a smirk.
“Gabriel! But what . . . how . . . what’s going on?” Red asked, total confusion masking her pretty face.
“I needed to find out where Grandma lived. She has a few things I’m interested in.” Gabriel gave Red an insulting wink.
“You … you tricked me! You used me to get to my Grandmother!” Red gasped.
“And it was so easy.” Gabriel said. “Oh Gabriel, I would just love to get to know you better.” he mocked and gave a menacing laugh.
“You bastard! You make me sick!” Red said, totally disgusted and appalled.
“Yada yada yada.” Gabriel said. “Your opinion doesn’t mean shit to me Cupcake. I got what I wanted.” A self-satisfied smile covered his face. “Gabriel always gets what he wants.”
“Where’s my Grandmother!” Red demanded. “What did you do with her? If you hurt her . . . “
“Then what?” Gabriel asked. “What exactly are you going to do, hmmm?” Thoughtfully he rubbed his chin, “I can’t let you go now, you know too much. I’ve never done two ladies at once, but I expect a threesome could be quite fun.” He gave an evil, toothy grin. “In fact, the more I think about the idea, the more I’m liking it!”
“What the hell are you talking about!” Red yelled. She was totally confused and worried sick about her grandmother, and she was pissed. She was very, very pissed. And now this sicko was talking about a threesome? His mother surely must have dropped him on his head at least 3 times. The only explanation for this bizarre behaviour could be severe brain damage.
“How rude of me!” Gabriel said, giving a polite bow. “Let me introduce myself. Gabriel, the Robin Hood of dildos. Also known as Gabriel the Dildo Serial Killer, but I prefer Robin Hood, since I free dildos from disgusting hoarders and give them to the deprived. And then I punish the evil hoarders.”
Red went pale. “You are Him!” she said. “You are that insane nut that’s been going around murdering women who have devoted their lives to the preservation of dildos!”
“I am indeed.” Gabriel said proudly, practically beaming. “And let me introduce you to my baby.” With that, he took out the MotherFucker 9827. He stroked it gently, lovingly, tender. “Isn’t it beautiful.” he murmured.
Suddenly there was the sound of glass smashing, and the MotherFucker 9827 was knocked out of Gabriel’s hand. “My baby!” he screamed, scrambling to retrieve it. “My poor baby!” He fell down on all fours and crawled to the dildo, scooping it up in his hands and clutching it to his chest.
“Oops!” a falsetto voice called. “Sorry! I hope I didn’t hit anyone!”
They all heard the clacking of heels, and next thing Priscilla barged into the door. “Red, sweetie, hi!” she said. She looked Gabriel up and down. And down and up. And up and down again, her gaze lingering on the down. “And who do we have here?”
“Run Priscilla!” Red yelled. “Run! It’s the Dildo Serial Killer!”
“What? Jesus Christ on a Crutch!” Priscilla yelped and crossed herself. “This is bad, oh this is so very very bad. What are we going to do? We’re gonna die! Oh shit oh shit oh shit we’re all gonna die!” she babbled, almost incoherently.
Gabriel meanwhile had retrieved his MotherFucker 9827 and composed himself. He looked at Priscilla, and his eyes almost popped out of his head, losing whatever composure he had managed to scrape together earlier. “What the hell is IT?” he exclaimed.
“IT? IT???” Priscilla asked shrilly, and narrowed her eyes. “I am just sick of pompous bastards like you who don’t understand the female psyche. Chauvinist Pig!”
Priscilla took the golf club she had with her, and broke it in half with her knee with one smooth action. “I’ll show you IT!” she growled, in her falsetto voice. “This will teach you to insult a drag queen!” And with that she swung the halved golf club and hit Gabriel square in the family jewels.
“Ungh” said Gabriel. His eyes crossed, his hands cupped the affected area and he went down on his knees, whimpering like only a man with crushed family jewels can whimper.
Priscilla twirled the club like a baton. “You want some more, macho guy, want some more of me?” she asked, threateningly, all the rage and frustration of insults she has had to endure for being true to her inner woman bubbling to the surface, waiting to erupt.
“Ungh” was the only reply Gabriel could muster, still on his knees, with his hands protecting his sunrise surprise breakfast ingredients.
“Where is my Grandmother, you asshole!” Red shouted, unable to contain herself any longer. “Tell me right now or I’ll grind your nuts and feed them to you!” She breathed heavily, clearly a woman on the edge.
Gabriel’s eyes widened in fear, clearly knowing the results of messing with a woman who had been completely and thoroughly pissed off, and he pointed towards the bathroom. Priscilla meanwhile was still twirling the golf club as if she was competing in a baton twirling contest, long blue nails moving in complicated patterns.
Red ran to the bathroom, kicked the door down and found Granny, rolling around and doing some inventive swearing that was audible even though her mouth had been taped. She ripped the duct tape off and helped her up. “Granny, are you ok? Did he hurt you?” she asked anxiously.
“No, no, I’m fine.”said Granny. “He wasn’t here long before you arrived. Oh Red, I was so worried about you with that maniac in the room. Thank goodness Priscilla came in when she did!” and Granny hugged Red fiercely, relief emanating from every pore. Then she gave a fond chuckle. “Who would think Priscilla’s lack of ball skills would save the day.”
They went back to the living room, where Gabriel was still on his knees and Priscilla was still twirling away.
“Priscilla, you can stop twirling now sweetie.” Red said.
“Priscilla shot her a nervous look, hands and golf club blurring. “Uhm, Red, I can’t!” she whined. “I only ever watched my sister do it, I never got the hand of stopping the damn thing!”
“Shit” said Red. “Well, what if you just let it go and we all get down on the floor?” she suggested.
Priscilla’s face scrunched up. “But what if I hit someone!” she wailed, her altruistic nature prevailing, the thought of causing loved ones bodily harm weighing heavily on her conscience.
“Do you have any better ideas” Granny asked.
“No” Priscilla replied in a small voice. Resigned she gave in. “Ok then, everyone get down.”
Granny and Red crawled underneath the dining room table, and Priscilla eyed the couch on her left, mentally calculating the distance and time required to get to safety.
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and sent up a little emergency prayer. Priscilla wasn’t exactly the religious type, but it times of need one needs all the help one can get. “Bombs away!!” she yelled, letting go of the club and jumping behind the couch. The club spun into the air, looking like a flying saucer on speed. For a while it seemed as though the exercise would be fatality free, but by some magnetic force the club was drawn to Gabriel and hit him smack in the forehead. He was still on his knees from his family jewels injury and when the club smacked into his forehead he was knocked unconscious, probably a blessing considering the pain he was experiencing.
Granny wasted no time in called the police, and they came to collect Gabriel and remove his demented soul from society, thereby protecting those woman who acknowledged their needs and refused to rely on the whims of a man to satisfy said needs. Not that all of them were raving feminists with unshaven legs and hairy armpits, but the emancipated woman learned that charity begins at home.
“We have been looking for this bastard for quite some time Ma’am” the officer in charge, a handsome man in his fifties, said. “You were very lucky and very brave to take him on.” He looked around furtively, finally giving in to his curiosity, lowering his voice. “I just have to ask, rumour has it that he had some sort of extraordinary dildo that he used his on victims before he killed them, you didn’t see it by any chance?”
“No I didn’t.” Granny said. “I would have loved to take a look at them though. I heard it was quite the specimen. I am a bit of a connoisseur, I collect dildos you know.” She winked at him impishly.
The officer blushed, and gave a small, shy smile. “Yes ma’am, I have heard that.” By the twinkling of his eyes one could see that he was not impervious to the dildos, or Granny.
“Would you like to take a look at them?” Granny asked coyly. “I keep them all in working order.” And she winked at the officer, a wink that was worth a thousand words.
The officer gulped, and a smile slowly spread across his face as realization dawned on him. “Sure would ma’am. It’s not everyday a man gets an opportunity like this.”
“Oh, you can just call me Kate.” Granny said, while a knowing, mutually affectionate smile passed between her and the officer.
He lifted his hat to her. “Kate it is then.” He suddenly remembered that he was on duty, and did what any sensible person in charge would do. He delegated. “You, Deputy, take the prisoner to the station and get all the paperwork sorted out.” And with that he was absolved and all that needed to be said and done was . . . well, done.
Granny took him to see her collection, and they didn’t appear for quite a few hours . . . Fortunately that was not too traumatizing for all involved since Granny’s special room was totally sound proofed.
The deputy, a youngish, clean-cut guy, was busy questioning Priscilla. “Wow,” he said at last, impressed, making no effort to hide the awe he was feeling, “you really saved the day.”
Priscilla batted her eyelashes at him, then looked down demurely. “Oh, it was nothing.” she said, in her falsetto voice. “A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.” They both overlooked the slight technical error there. The deputy might be young, but he certainly wasn’t blind.
He cleared his throat nervously, bracing himself. He who does not venture does not gain. “I was wondering . . . uhm . . . if maybe you would like to have dinner with me tonight?” The octave of his voice raised slightly during the last few words and he blushed beetroot red.
Priscilla took his arm, “I would really like that.” she said earnestly. An unlikely match, but those who know do say that opposites attract.
The room emptied and Red was left standing alone. She rooted around in the recliner, took the MotherFucker 9827 out, put it in her purse and got into her car.
Well, she thought, Granny has the Officer, Priscilla’s gone off with the Deputy, and I will soothe the memories of this day with Gabriel’s baby, until I am overcome by orgasms. If I get too lonely I could maybe I go out with Nathan, he’s pretty good looking and seems like a decent guy. I actually know a lot of good looking decent guys. Well that settles it, I am done with Adonis’s anyhow, no wonder they call them the downfall of saints. And if even a saint can’t resist what chance does a normal hormone-plagued teenager have?
She smiled contently, and sped off in her red corvette.
And they all lived happily ever after, until life got in the way and pissed them off, but they made up again . . . and so on and so forth.
The End.
Abomination of Oblivion
One day while walking to class in his senior year of high school, Mathew, now at a juncture in his life where uneasiness and paranoia are taking hold he stops into the office and pleads with the vice-principal for understanding. We'll call this man Dr. Ettienne, who happens to be a psychiatrist. His reply to the plea was simply "get to your class". Afew weeks passed and in sociology they were discussing doing a play and asked Mathew to play superman. From this point on Mathew was propelled into psychosis including catatonia. He walked out of class and slowly slid down the wall just staring into space. After the bus ride home he sat at the picnic table in the backyard in a state almost unbearable. His parents were beside themselves and the next day took him to a mental health facility. After 10 minutes in the Drs. office they were informed he needed to be in the hospital. Seeing that Mathew was unable to speak, they decided that electro-shock therapy was the only recourse. After three treatments he began speaking and after another 5 he returned to school which was in the final month. He took the finals and graduated with his class. Out of school just 2 weeks he enrolled in a technical school and after 2 years was second in his class with a 3.7. While doing a field study, the final part of school he managed to complete his work while at the same time hearing voices. This led to his 2nd hospital stay of 3 months and ironically the same psychiatrist who said he needed help the first time was his Dr. this time. He put him on a medication he became allergic but nothing was changed. After 3 months this Dr. recommended a state institution. Mathew's mother told him to sign himself out and come home. Things were pretty good for 2 years at which timehe suffered another episode. This would be his final extended stay and a few years later he went through vocational rehabilitation and worked for a year in what was called a "sheltered workshop". During this year now 27, Mathew met the woman whom he would be with for twelve years. Fast forward 12 years and Mathew now 50 is at what he considers another start. With his schizo-effective disorder now under control he is looking forward to life and god willing he hopes the best is yet to be.
May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need.
Ok so Nicki and Victor are bitter enemies again. And Daphne won $5000 playing Plinko. And Oprah has taught me everything I need to know about multiple orgasms. Such is the life of me, sick person……trapped in daytime television hell.
An endless cavalcade of soap operas, infomercials, judge shows, and gabfests parades across my tv screen, day after day. Oh to be able to get out of the house. Away from this brain cell robbing drivel.
But alas, I have the dreaded pneumonia and am a prisoner of daytime television. It doesn’t help that we have what they call “Total Access Plus” cable. What that pretty much means is instead of 37 channels of vapid, mind numbing junk to chose from, I have 112! Oh happy day!
I mean, it only takes so long to read the newspaper and Google exotic places like Fochville, South Africa. Then I am at the mercy of the boob tube and what it has to offer.
I have, however learned some things from daytime television:
People in soap operas never dress in jeans and t-shirts. They always look like they are ready for a night at the opera. And they always have fresh flowers all over their houses. And there are very seldom any children…..and NEVER any pesky pets. And almost all action occurs in hospitals, non-lived in looking houses, or restaurants.
The latest trend on talk shows is to give stuff away. “Everybody in the audience today will receive an olive pitter!!!!” exclaims Rachel Ray to the wild cheers of her adoring audience. I mean, its not like they got a car or even a bagel maker. Big whoop, it’s a freakin’ olive pitter for god sake.
People sue for the damndest, stupidest, most asinine reasons imaginable. “This is Frank Fudrucker from Fresno. Frank is suing Marge Middlefinger….he claims Marge’s cat pissed on his car tires, resulting in mental anguish and a hefty cleaning bill. He is attempting to collect $68.48. Welcome to the People’s Court.” And the funny thing is…….the judge takes all this crap seriously, while the camera catches audience members snickering and rolling their eyes at the inane proceedings.
And finally, there is no shame. Not a smidgeon, iota or morsel. People will talk about and try to sell anything. Colon cleansing, for instance. “I was amazed at the size of the bowel movements coming out of my 5 year old daughter. They were twice the size of mine. Then I realized…..her colon is clean and mine is gunked up from 40 years of eating pork rinds and fried lard fritters.” Its really not nice to talk like that in front of a sick person.
Well, I need to take a nap…….only an hour til Jerry Springer. I can’t miss it today. They are having men whose daughters do it with Siamese twin midgets. How can you not watch?????
It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it's been a while
since i could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
It's been a while
since i could say that i wasn't addicted and
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must i feel this way?
just make this go away
just one more peaceful day
Its been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
and it's been awhile
since i said i'm sorry
It's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
It's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
I know it's me i cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me
It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while since i said i'm sorry
eeyore
A poem by Nitewolf (Scott)
"As I Fall into the flames of Love"
Glancing through my Window pain
flaming from within my soul
Waiting for a wind to break through it
To take me away from everything
running away from flames that burst
inside of me and inside of you
Gasping for air
I am trying to breakout of this hell I am in
Trying to find a piece of mind
Guided by the Wind taking me to another place, A place that only
Love can be found
A place Where you and I
Can be at one with each other
Glancing back through my window pain
Flaming hearts run through it
Taking you and me away to a place where we can be free
Free to be
What ever we want to be
You burst my heart into flames as I fall in Love with you
Twisting and turning climbing higher and higher no end in sight. No signs to guide the weary traveler. So it's a blind journey dark then bright. Always changing never ending. Sometimes tiring ever moving on to the next turn, finding the magic ring to freedom,but never quite getting there. Oh well tomorrow's another day, another dream, another journey.
While contemplating the thoughts of my Life and future,
how I will survive and if I have made the right decision?
A Brisk wind sweeps around the corner I hear her soft voice on it.
She tells me do not worry every thing will be alright!
You are one of my children and by that divine you will have what you need.
The trees rejoice in her presence and the birds chirp and sing to her,bidding for her attention. Her words give me comfort. So once again I stand up with all my courage and determination and the belief that I will do this and with no more doubts in my mind I will continue on my journey
New painting by member Soul
The following paintings were done by our very own HC
I sit next to the window and a breeze comes on in It carries me and my words to an all new level....
I am all alone in the darkness of an empty home no one to call my friend no one to call upon.
I lite a candle to find my way out to find my way out of this nightmare I am living in. I sat my candle down on this desk I found I started to write this song to communicate to you. I sit down now and wonder
How to write this song for you!!!!!!
Time after time finding out what to say now
I miss time spent with you around
Time after Time I watch the candle flicker in the wind
You are in the air you are all around
Time after Time thinking of what to say to you
My head is spinning in and out of reality
Time after Time finding out just What to say to you
My candle is flickering in the wind reminding me of how much you mean to me
Mean to me......yeah!
I love you girl your always on my mind
on my mind
you are one of a kind
you are in the air all the time
Every flicker of the flame is my love for you
All for you now I cry out I need you!
I am scared without your love
I cry out your name to tonight you make me who I am you are here for me I love you with every flicker of the flame
you are around me I feel you here with me
You are like the flame giving me warmth when nothing else will
Every flicker of the flame makes me feel like I am all right
I am all right tonight
I can feel you here with me through the flame of the candle flickering in the wind...
Scott Officer (night_wolf)
Visions
Visions of you and I
Visions of you and I together
As I dream of you talking to me
Glancing into your eyes
I am so surprised
Why is there sadness in your eyes
I am so mesmerized
You're so mesmerizing to me
As beautiful as can be
My Lovely Girl
So sweet as can be
Dreaming of you here talking to me
Glancing at you as you glance back at me
Visions of you and I
Visions of you
The two of us together at last
Happy as can be
Written by:
Scott Officer
(night_wolf)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three paintings below were created by our own member Soul
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sweet Revenge
Did You See That I Was Hurt?
Did You Know That You Had Left Me Crying There?
Now I'm Holding All You Words Close Till You Feel This Pain Too
But You Live On So Unaware
While I Thought Somehow This Hate Would Heal Me
But This Hate Is Never Ending And It's Only Killing Me
Oh Sweet Revenge You've Lied Again
I Find I Can't Get Free Till I Release This Vengeance That I Seek
Forgive You The Only Thing I Want To Live I'm Ready To Be Free
Maybe You've Been Wounded Too
Maybe All This Is Your Self Protection
All The Hurts You Thought Were Hidden
Are The One Now Hurting Me
So Who Will Make The Pattern End?
I Find I Can't Get Free Till I Release This Vengeance That I Seek
Forgive You, The Only Thing I Want To Live I'm Ready To
Break These Chains
Won't See This Through
'cause Setting You Free Means My Freedom Too
I Find I Can't Get Free Till I Release This Vengeance That I Seek
Forgive You The Only Thing I Want To Live I'm Ready To Be Free
By: Barlow Girls
posted by Dragonlady ( this song is for my father who was and
still is very emotionally abusive to me )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Sons
The depth of my emotions and the feelings for them are second to none.
They fill into my soul, they slowly seep, step by step my love grows so deep. You will always lay with one eye open and slightly dose, till you hear the feet and the door silently close.
You will always wonder if I should,? If I could,? how to learn, to take the next turn. You will always be strong enough to lift a car and never question on who you are.
You will always hug them ever so tighter and have to learn to kiss them lighter. You will always be willing to take there pain knowing it wouldn’t be right but, would still feel the same
You will always try to give them what they need, to nurture and care for them till eternity. You will always love them and watch them grow, and never ever feel ready to let them go.
Love always, momma
by Yorkster
by yorkie
Slowest form of Suicide
Why do I love you when all you do is hurt me
Why can't I overcome this sorrow and this pain
At first you seemed to take all of this away
But now it comes back twofold
Every single fucking day
All I know is that your love
Is the slowest form of suicide
When you look at me it's like the whole world goes into slowmo
It used to be a great sensation
It used to ease the pain
But now it only makes it worse
Now it wont seem to go away
What can I do when all you do is hurt me
What can I say when all you say is 'I Love You'
I love you too?
But I can't go on like this
One of these days I'm going to slit my wrist
Over you
But I keep on loving you
And you keep on hurting me
It's just one big vicious circle of pain
You told me you loved me
Then it's like you stab me in the heart
As my blood runs down the page
All the pain seems to go away
You may hear me scream
You may hear me shout
But I know that you wont save me
As I fade away again
WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
